Blame it on Rachel
by RoseFleur
Summary: 'Her light heart dropped into her stomach as she watched her friend's face contort miserably. It was then that she made a drunken, but definite, decision.' - Rachel takes matters into her own hands. Klaine, Kurtchel, Raine.


**A/N: I still don't own Glee. But this is my view on what might have been going on in Rachel's head during 'Blame it on the Alcohol'. I used some direct dialogue, but I don't own it. Also, check out my other stories, (not Klaine I'm afraid for all you avid Klainbows) 'Plans' - a Quick story, and 'I Love New York' - a Finchel story. Would mean alot. thanks in advance for reviews :) xxxxxxxxxxxx**

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><p>'I think I just found my new duet partner!" screeched Rachel and launched herself onto the stage, pulling Blaine along with her.<p>

She grabbed her pink glitter-covered microphone and gripped it tightly, eying Blaine coquettishly. It was surprising to her how he still managed to sing perfectly despite his erratic drunken dancing; obviously for her it was no problem, alcohol may have affected her ability to make rational decisions but it would never inhibit her talent.

Kurt watched the pair singing The Human League's most famous song and for the first time he found Blaine's voice to be grating instead of the smooth, seductive tone he was used to. It seemed warped and twisted in his mind, not only the voice but the fact that Blaine was singing with _Rachel _and he seemed to be _enjoying _it. What was this, crazy-town?

Rachel couldn't remember feeling as free as she did now. She felt light and effervescent and bubbly and then she looked to her right. Kurt was sat eying Blaine with a look of anger and jealousy and sheer disgust. Her light heart dropped into her stomach as she watched her friend's face contort miserably. It was then that she made a drunken, but definite, decision.

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><p>Blaine woke up in a bed that was definitely not his own.<p>

"Meurgh" he mumbled painfully, rubbing his tired eyes.

It was at that point that Kurt waltzed out from his walk in wardrobe, smoothing the last remnants of his morning moisturising routine into his skin.

"Morning sunshine!" He said brightly, "You had quite the night last night didn't you?" He laughed falsely and sat down on the bed nervously.

"What?" said Blaine and he took the glass of water that Kurt handed him and sipped it carefully. "I remember… bits. Did I… Did I kiss Rachel?"

"Yes." Kurt affirmed it in a disappointed tone. "And then went onto perform a wonderful duet of The Human League's 'Don't You Want Me'?"

"Oh, I love that song!" Blaine cried, running a hand through his messy hair.

"Yes." agreed Kurt sharply, "We heard last night."

"Thanks for letting me stay over last night Kurt."

"No problem," replied Kurt, "Anything for a" he sighed heavily "-friend, like you."

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><p>"Rachel just asked me out." Blaine laughed lightly, sitting down and taking a sip of his coffee.<p>

Kurt laughed back and pointed out Rachel's 'Girl Crush' was hilarious before he stopped, looked at Blaine and questioned his response.

"Why did you say yes?" He asked, "You can't lead her on!"

"Who says I'm leading her on?" Blaine replied, nonchalantly sipping his coffee, eying Kurt as if daring him to reprimand him.

Kurt dared, "You can't be serious."

"When we kissed, it felt good!" Blaine looked up at Kurt. He had thought he was gay, but now… now he wasn't so sure. Kissing Rachel had stirred something up inside him that he thought wasn't there before. In his confused head, he needed to sort this out and Kurt wasn't going to rebuke him or tell him he was wrong. What kind of a friend was that?

Suddenly the boy in front of him wasn't the person he thought he was. He shook his head and frowned, "See you later" leaving Kurt alone to ponder the sticky mess he'd got himself into.

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><p>"Look we're friends," said Rachel, throwing another empty into the blue plastic bag she was dragging around her basement with Kurt, "so I'm going to be honest with you." She clutched the bag and sat down on the stage, "The date was lovely! We saw Love Story at the Revival Theatre; we even dressed as the characters."<p>

"Because that's not gay at all," said Kurt sarcastically chucking a cup into the bag. "Did you kiss?" He attempted nonchalance but wasn't sure if it had come out as he intended. Rachel seemed not to have noticed, off in her own Blaine-DreamWorld. He recognised the signs; he saw them on his own face often enough.

"No," she sighed, "I guess the timing wasn't right."

"Or the blood alcohol level," murmured Kurt, more to himself than Rachel. However she heard anyway and looked up at him, nervously tugging on the arms of her sweater.

She watched as Kurt sat down opposite her and told her basically that she would never have a chance with Blaine. This she knew, but as he called her a 'hag' less than nicely, she persevered knowing her plan was working.

"Fine," she said fiercely, "Then I'm gonna prove you wrong. I'm gonna kiss him sober, and if the spark is still there then I am taking you to a bakery of your choice for a piping hot slice of humble pie." Boy, she wondered why she'd never got any parts in community theatre. By the shocked and wide eyed expression on Kurt's face, her acting was indeed outstanding.

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><p>"So you said he comes this way at 3.30?" Rachel clutched her coffee cup and looked at Kurt nervously.<p>

"Like clockwork." He watched the brunette, "For his post rehearsal medium drip."

Rachel took out her lip balm and began on the theatricalities of preening. She ostentatiously patted her hair down and smoothed the lip balm on her tender buds, smirking at Kurt, "I just can't wait to lay one on him."

"I've got a bad feeling about this Rachel," Kurt shook his head awkwardly. Rachel on the other hand had a very good feeling about this. "I don't want you to get hurt either. There's no victory in this for me either way." He smiled half-heartedly at her.

She slammed her hands on the table and grinned wildly, fire burning in her eyes, "Who cares about you buddy?" she said curling her lip at him, "I might get a new boyfriend out of this who can keep up with me vocally and in the future give me vaguely Eurasian looking children."

"There he is," Kurt sighed looking over at him wistfully.

Rachel whipped her head around and smiled, eying her target. "Okay," she said finally, "Wish me luck." She stood up, smoothed her clothes down and marched over to Blaine purposefully.

"Hey Rachel, what's going on?" Blaine smiled as the petite brunette made her way over. He was pretty sure she knew he was gay but here she was advancing towards him and… kissing him. Suddenly, it wasn't attractive anymore. It just felt plain wrong and awkward.

He broke away as she smiled up at him triumphantly, "Yep. I'm gay." He laughed and looked over her head at Kurt who was exhaling a sigh of relief.

Rachel plastered a look of shock on her face, frowned and nodded along absently, agreeing to save Blaine's place in line. Kurt came bounding over telling her patronisingly that it must have been hard. She laughed inwardly, thinking exactly the opposite, how easily her plan had come off. She mumbled somewhat downcast something about songwriting gold and marched out of the coffee shop with her head held high, leaving Kurt standing bewildered behind her.

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><p>'<em>Hope you're okay, K xxx' <em>read the text, as Rachel snapped her phone shut and lay in bed that night. Of course she was okay, she was better than okay. Her plan had worked completely.

She knew when she had kissed Blaine that he was gay, and when she'd seen Kurt's angry, jealous stare as they sang she knew she could find a way to push them closer together. If she pretended to like Blaine, she would spark the jealousy within Kurt to lash out at Blaine and she would sort this 'confusion' inside Blaine's head out by making him think she was in love with him and wanted to turn him straight.

She had imagined that after their date, which as Kurt had confirmed, had been the height of flamboyancy and gayness, that Blaine would go running back to Kurt but he had texted her moments later saying he'd had a really good night and would like to do it again sometime. So she knew she had to trap him somehow, by coming full circle.

All it took was a kiss.

And Blaine was thrust back to being the confident gay role model for Kurt who would one day reciprocate his feelings. Hopefully sooner rather than later, or else Rachel's plan would have been for nothing.

But for her, that was quite enough selflessness for some time. She whipped out her pad of paper and stuck a biro in her mouth contemplating a winning song for Regionals. Was it politically incorrect to entitle a song 'That was Totally Gay, Blaine?'

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><p><strong>RR x**


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